Advice – Diamonds in the rough

I had an impromptu meeting with my HR manager today about a colleague I needed to speak with. She started to give me advice on how to talk to them and what to say.  I was thinking in my head I know how to talk to people does she really need to take me through the play by play on how I should talk to my colleague.

I will tell my wife that I am going to talk to someone about something that involves both us. Indefinitely she tells me what to say and how to approach the situation.

Even my kids get in the act as I will talk to my kids friends and they will tell me not to ask this or that.

Who hasn’t received unsolicited advice from someone outside of our family.

I get tired of people always “giving” me advice.


This morning I had an epiphany. I tell people what to do and say all of the time.  I tell my kids what to do all of the time. Not because I want to boss them. I tell them because I have gone through certain experience that allow me to see the broader picture and I can see where they are headed. And yes they blow me off at times. Though sometimes things happen and now they are ready to listen.

So I thought my HR manger knows this person in question for 10+ years and she has worked with them for almost the same amount of time. It will probably be smart of me to listen. Yes, I said “me” and “listen” in the same sentence. Alarms are going off somewhere.

In my work life I tell people what hiring manager are looking for and what questions to ask. Most people tell me okay, sure, I understand or some similar things to denote they are listening. Whether they listen and follow through in the interview is a different story.

I had a potential candidate who when I started to go through my interview prep with him he cut me off.  He said ” I know how to interview.” I persisted knowing he did not have the information I had. He cut me off  again and said “I am good, yep I understand.” For those of you who can’t see where this going you really have problems. Serious problems. GUESS WHAT, he bombed the interview.  He was unprepared. He hadn’t done his homework on the company and the open position. Imagine that. I had information that was very important to his situation.

Soooo maybe not all advice is bad. It may turn out to be a diamond in the rough. Take a look at who is telling you advice.  A few minutes maybe save you some problems later on.


Matt Cheek


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